Lianne Raymond, M. Ed. is a certified life coach, educator, and yogini. She also has been called a free spirit, a ruthless questioner, and a giver of delicious hugs. In her coaching, her teaching, and her life, she is guided by the question What if you let your heart move you instead of living a life of forcefulness? She lives in the wild beauty of Vancouver Island with her husband of 26(!) years and delights in being Auntie to her nieces and nephew.
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Lianne Raymond

Hi. I'm Lianne. I appreciate you stopping by.

 

I'm on a mission - there's a good chance you landed here because you are, too. Whether you are longing to love yourself more, yearning for more fulfilling relationships or hoping to feel more enchanted with your life - you have found a home for those desires.

Danielle LaPorte doesn't call me Her Majesty of Questioning Just About Everything for nothing.  It is becoming obvious that the old paradigm just ain't cutting it anymore. Like fish that are unaware of the water they are swimming in, our culture is still swimming in outdated ideas that are dragging us down. These ideas are permeating your life in ways you aren't even aware of. But you're feeling it, aren't you? Like an itchy sweater you are wearing to a formal dinner you didn't even want to attend. I question it all so you can change into something comfy. And the big, juicy question I love to ask  is...

What is it to let your heart move you instead of living a life of forcefulness?

If you're not even sure what I mean by that - well, that just gets me even more excited. Cause I can't wait to show you.

More Philosophizing Ahead →

 

Thursday
Mar012012

i always knew you were crazy about me or the steve jobs effect

!4 months ago I held my dad's hand as he took his last breath.  Those last days with him were emotional and real and scary and slow. And there was no question I would be there for every one of them. One of the last things I did in those sacred moments was to thank my dad for giving me the greatest gift a parent can give a child - I always knew he was crazy about me. 

His love was his greatest gift to the world.  He didn't invent anything, he wasn't the icon of huge company and the world press did not take note of his death.

He was no Steve Jobs. And I am profoundly grateful for that.

It seems that now that the initial reaction has passed and people have had a chance to read the biograhy of Jobs and see what was sacrificed on the altar of his success, they are thinking about their own lives. And I am profoundly grateful for that.

I believe the things that will really change this planet for the better are going to come about when we remember to love. Cause love is the ultimate launching pad, and your most successful launch should always be your children.

Here are some examples of dads remembering to love:

For a long time, work was my only thing. I worked evenings, weekends, and Christmas. At those rare times when I wasn’t at work in body, I was there in spirit, unable to speak or think of much else. I wanted so badly to climb the mountain that I stopped asking why I was doing it.

I admire Steve for the mountains he climbed. At the same time, I wonder if he missed the whole point, becoming the John Henry of our time. He won the race, but at what cost?

Me? I may turn out to be a failure in business, but I refuse to fail my kids.

From the blog Deliberatism

 

Startup life is hard on families. We just welcomed two new members into our family, and running as fast as you can isn't sustainable for parents of multiple small children. The death of Steve Jobs, and his subsequent posthumous biography, highlighted the risks for a lot of folks...You may have more discipline than I do. But for me, the mission is everything; I'm downright religious about it. Stack Overflow and Stack Exchange have been wildly successful, but I finally realized that success at the cost of my children is not success. It is failure.

From Jeff Atwood

 

In the last several years, the company has been successful enough to generate a substantial amount of capital. And with it, I have been fortunate to bring in people with great talent. And so I started thinking of all the amazing things we would do. I would put in crazy hours to do it, of course, but we would go and do amazing things.

Then Steve Jobs died.

And suddenly I realized something. What is the objective here? My oldest child just turned 15. My other two are no longer little either.  And I have been missing out on them. And my wife.

For all the success and amazing accomplishments of Steve Jobs, in the end, nothing could save him. Death can come at any time.  And I realized that if I found myself on death’s door, I would regret deeply not having spent more time with  my kids when they were…well, kids. 

From the blog JoeUser.com

All the above examples I found on Jason Kottke's blog:

Since Jobs died, I've been pushing a little less hard in that direction.

Four is hardly a trend but it is interesting that the death and biography of the greatest businessman of our generation -- someone who was responsible for so many world-changing products and ideas, who shaped our world through sheer force of will & imagination, etc. etc. -- is inspiring some people to turn away from the lifestyle & choices that made Jobs so successful & inspiring in the public sphere and to attempt the path that Jobs did not.

And then this morning I read Jonathan Fields' post about Entreporn:

I’m not any better than anyone else. I don’t live anywhere near a charmed existence. I have bills to pay, struggles, emotions and challenges on many levels. I work hard. Really hard. But I work even harder to align my time and energy with what I claim to hold dear in life.

Because I can always start a new company, but I can never relive moments in the lives of my wife and daughter.

I'm seeing more dads like this and fewer dads like this.

I'm declaring it a movement.  And I'm saying my dad started it.

Tuesday
Feb282012

there is no humility in the animal kingdom

Have you ever seen a snake try to downplay it's snake-ness?

Or a puppy cut back on tail-wagging for fear of it being too much?

When we are not editing who we are nor trying to cover up who we are with some persona that we know not to be true to our hearts, there is no need to take on an attitude of lowliness or meekness. There is no need to puff ourselves up and then put-on a pretense of humility. As Golda Meir once said. "Stop being so humble, you're not that great."

When we are fully ourselves - full of ourselves (who else are you going to be full of?)- humility becomes a put on. Not necessary.

Own your you-ness. No need to play small and no need to play big. Just play.

Stop editing yourself out of existence and calling it humility.

Wag your tail or rattle your tail. Throw back your head and laugh or hiss. Do what you were put on this earth to do. And don't be humble about it.

xox

Saturday
Feb252012

this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Today is the anniversary of the day that I laboured for hours to birth a child that had already finished his oh so short life. Stillborn. Though as my friend Cath says, a stillbirth is still birth.

I have one picture of my husband and I holding him, swathed in a hospital green blanket. We named him Vincent - after Van Gogh.  I feel about Van Gogh the same way Alice Walker does - "If there were any justice in the world/I'd own Van Gogh's starry night." 

So we named our baby Vincent and placed him among the stars. Tonight, right after posting this, I will go out in the dark but clear night and find my Vincent dancing. Singing to me of light from up among the constellations I have made of my beloveds who have left this earth.

Stars tell us of the infinite, the visionary, of something in ourselves that is starlike, star stuff. In loss, we look up and find in the beckoning incandescence of a single star the longed for soul of the departed. - from The Book of Symbols

 

Wednesday
Feb222012

women of wild wisdom

Do not kill the instinct of the body for the glory of the pose.  - Vanda Scaravelli

It's not unusual for my clients to express some fear that it's too late for them.  That they are too old to find their calling, to follow a passion or even to change old behaviours.  I get it - I'm certailnly not a stranger to that place. 

A confession: I, the dedicated yoga student and teacher, took a week intensive with Jill Miller in January 2011 in California. My dad had just died in Dec 2010, so I spent every savasana of this intensive with a face wet with silent tears. Then I came home from California and dropped my yoga practice cold. For a full year. I have no idea why. It doesn't really matter. I did the occasional downward dog here and there, but I did not once roll out my mat . Not once did I do an intentional yoga practice. I thought maybe it was over. I thought maybe I would never do yoga again.

And then early this month, Feb 2012,  I just got up one day, dug my mat out of the closet, rolled it out and started to play with poses. I have no idea why. It doesn't really matter.  I've been having so much fun. I've lost some poses - I used to be able to just pop up into headstand - not now. That's OK. I feel like I needed that space to come back to my mat in a fresh way. I've given up muscling through poses and I'm working with them from instinct instead of force.

My role model is Vanda Scaravelli and her concept of allegrezza. She came to yoga in her mid 40s and practiced for the next 50 years. I am 45 - I realize I've only just begun. I can't wait to see what the next 50 years bring. 

The daughter of artistic Italian parents, wife of a professor of philosophy, and an accomplished pianist, Vanda Scaravelli was accustomed throughout her life to meeting creative artists, intellectuals, and literati. The Indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti came to stay at the Scaravelli's villa overlooking Florence every year. When Scaravelli's husband died suddenly after World War II, she soon began spending summers with her children at a chalet in Switzerland, where she hosted Krishnamurti during his lectures there. B. K. S. Iyengar would come every morning to teach him yoga; he introduced Scaravelli, then in her 40s, to the ancient discipline, and "a new life came into my body." Thus began her ongoing exploration of what she called allegrezza, "the intelligent heart." - Phil Catalfo

Allegrezza. I wrote the word on a big sheet of paper and hung it in my office. What a gorgeous word. What a gorgeous idea. What a gorgeous example Vanda is. 

Vanda's wild wisdom from her beautiful book Awakening the Spine:

There is no beauty without love and there is no love without beauty.

What is beauty? Are love and beauty interconnected? Does beauty derive from love? Or does love derive from beauty?

You will discover the amazing transformation in a person when she is loved, she blossoms, becoming more beautiful each day.

When we love what we are doing there is beauty in it and even the more insignificant work becomes attractive.

Love has no barriers, it is like a pool spring, pouring water endlessly. And it is perhaps this absence of limitation that gives wings to fly.

Beauty is the absence of a definite determined action, the freedom from slavery to an already formed ideal that drives us in a particular direction eliminates all other possibilities to wander among the many adventurous, and sometimes dangerous, roads. Beauty gives also the pleasure to uncover and the luxury to lose.

Watch Vanda's beauty at 85 - "flowers blossom in spring, and then they blossom again in autumn".

It's never too late.

Monday
Feb202012

5 seconds to a better marriage

I learned this simple practice from Dr. John Gottman.  It is simple, but not necessarily easy. Many of my clients find it surprising when they do it. They are surprised at how they've negelected such a simple thing, surprised at how long 5 seconds really is, surprised at what happens when they really commit and do it.

This is it: commit to having a (minimum) 5 second kiss with your partner. Everyday. And count the 5 seconds fairly - you know, like you used to do for hide-and-seek. 1, 1000, 2, 1000 etc. Or set the timer on your phone if you are the geeky type. After a few practice sessions you'll get a feel for how long it is and you won't have to count anymore - which will allow you to be more present in the experience.

Even your response to the idea of doing this practice can be revealing.

The exclusive focus on verbal communication as the path to strengthen relationships has left big huge gaps and has hung many relationships out to dry. Communication skills alone will not save a relationship. There is a deeper connection that needs to be nourished. That's what this practice is for.

I'd love to hear from you if you try it - let me know how it goes. If you're already doing this and more - I'm guessing your relationship is already pretty damn fantastic.

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